“my guy, you and I both know that you can’t fight a Jaguar in that. You are so stoned”
“Nah dude, this is totally gonna work.”
boredcat_04 on
“Come at me bro. “
FR0ZENBERG on
Even has the pouch for his massive balls.
voidgazing on
Upon closer inspection, you determine that the figure before you is actually wearing armour mae of hot dogs, some obscenely long, fastened with bacon and Vienna sausages. The headdress atop quivers meatily with even the slightest motion, the eyes and face are fixed with tension, masklike.
You are not sure what is smeared around its mouth, but you are sure you do not want to find out. Its breath comes in hissing, saliva choked gasps and moans. “Nnnnnggggg… *meaaat!!!*” it rasps, the import of this cryptic pronouncement lost on you; you cannot tell if it is rage, desire, fear, or an exotic mixture of such emotions driving the spit-spraying passion of the hideous, tortured voice.
The codpiece begins to shrink and expand, shrink and expand, with a horrible high pitched balloon noise, as if it is somehow *breathing. T*he figure continues its approach. “Meeeaaaaatcccththll!!!”
6 Comments
[Museum](https://www.dma.org/art/collection/object/5282910). 35.9 cm tall.
“my guy, you and I both know that you can’t fight a Jaguar in that. You are so stoned”
“Nah dude, this is totally gonna work.”
“Come at me bro. “
Even has the pouch for his massive balls.
Upon closer inspection, you determine that the figure before you is actually wearing armour mae of hot dogs, some obscenely long, fastened with bacon and Vienna sausages. The headdress atop quivers meatily with even the slightest motion, the eyes and face are fixed with tension, masklike.
You are not sure what is smeared around its mouth, but you are sure you do not want to find out. Its breath comes in hissing, saliva choked gasps and moans. “Nnnnnggggg… *meaaat!!!*” it rasps, the import of this cryptic pronouncement lost on you; you cannot tell if it is rage, desire, fear, or an exotic mixture of such emotions driving the spit-spraying passion of the hideous, tortured voice.
The codpiece begins to shrink and expand, shrink and expand, with a horrible high pitched balloon noise, as if it is somehow *breathing. T*he figure continues its approach. “Meeeaaaaatcccththll!!!”
Roll for initiative.
Peak Gambeson