which one would be the least terrible



    by marogalaxy

    31 Comments

    1. I think the mongol empire because although they were absolutely brutal in war living under them wasnt actually that bad so long as you didnt fuck with them

    2. 2nW_from_Markus on

      The Burgundy cross. At least I speak spanish, but maybe my accent and some words are unexpected.

    3. ClavicusLittleGift4U on

      Puedo hablar español. Con las otras tres acabo como esclava, prostituta o anoréxica en un campo. O todo a la vez.

    4. DatabaseAcademic6631 on

      I like Mongolian BBQ, but hate horses.

      I like Spanish food, but don’t like pulling the head off of chickens or throwing donkeys out of bell towers.

      Japanese women are the most beautiful people on the planet, but Sushi turns my stomach.

      Speaking as a 6’2″, blonde-haired, blue-eyed Nordic I’m probably going straight to the tippy top of any Nazi apparatus just on genetics alone. Also… big fan of German beer and foods.

      Looks like it’s the Third Reich for this fella.

      And I mean that in the most hypothetical way possible.

      Although I *would* look fantastic dressed as an SS officer.

    5. Although being a 6ft blonde white guy, I’d actually prefer living under the mongols than the Nazis.

    6. The Mongol flag. The *Pax Mongolica*, the golden age of the Silk Road, where goods, ideas and culture were exchanged across all of Asia. I’ll just have to cross my fingers and hope I ended up in that sweet spot between the conquests and the outbreak of the plague.

    7. jawbreaker9877 on

      Spain, just cause I’m British, and could prob just say I was lost at sea, and get showed to a ship to Britain

    8. You can see the Japanese flag today – the Japanese Self Defense Forces still use it on their ships.

    9. To all the knuckle heads praising the Mongols, I encourage you to look into the treatment of civilians in their invasion of Kiev in 1240.

      The mongols were a brutal force, but I guess too far removed to the past for anyone to actually understand this unless they happen to be Hungarian or Ukrainian and have a good education in history.

      Let’s evaluate my options:

      Mongols: I will be brutally murdered or used as a sex slave for the conquering army: hard pass

      Imperial Japan: used as a sex slave for sure, zero chance of survival the Japanese army was one of the most brutal in WW2, the make the Germans look tame.

      Mid 20th century Germans: I’m blonde, have blue eyes and would likely be fine in their society, however I know how it ends and I know soon the Russian army will come and do unspeakable things to those lucky enough to survive carpet bombing. Hard pass on this one too.

      Hapsburg Spain: Depends which era, most of the time I’ll be fine, can speak their language, and unless we are about to be invaded by Napoleon, I’d feel relatively safe.

    10. – The mongol empire was brutale on war and killed 30% of the world’s population at the time. But if you were already in the mongol empire I think It wouldn’t be really that band at all.

      – If you are in the Third Reich, your situation would depend a lot on your ethnicity, religion and political thinking. If you have no suspicions and you see yourself suitable, you can be fine, but if not, you can end up in a Concentration camp :(.

      – Pls no

      – The deaths caused by the Spanish empire were mostly accidental. But in general, if you were indigenous, you would not have been treated very well. Your social status depended on the percentage of Spanish blood you had and where you were born, for example being born in Bolivia would be worse than in Argentina due to having very different economies and Infrastructure.

      If we had to choose two, they would be the Mongol Empire and the Spanish Empire.

    11. Man you can hate Spain as much as you can, but comparing them with the literal Nazi and the Japanese is just stupid

    12. Tiny_Parsley_5253 on

      I have family ties to Germany so I’ll probably be fine in Nazi Germany if I keep my mouth shut.

    13. Resolution-SK56 on

      Burgundy Cross/Spanish Empire

      I am as Asian so I would avoid Mongol and Imperial Japan. The Nazis are self explanatory.

      Since I have a Christian background I will try my chances with Spain

    14. Top left. It is some Mongol style flag, but was never used in history. Suggesting you’re in the future.

    15. Brilliant_Level_6571 on

      Either of the ones on the left. I’m catholic and I paid attention in my high school math classes

    16. Welp, I’m of French descent. Least bad for me in an objective sense would probably be Nazis, but I hate them on principle, so we’d have immediate beef. Next best is the Mongols, because if you surrender to them, they don’t fuck with you. I’m screwed in the event that it’s the Spanish (I was born after smallpox was eradicated, also I’m French) or Imperial Japan, for obvious reasons. Only one I wouldn’t rather go down fighting than surrender to is the Mongols. 

    17. Additional_Goat2430 on

      I’m black so I pretty sure I’m going to treated like shit in 3 of 4 choices here so…I’ll take my chance with the mongols.

    18. Definitely not the Japanese. Even the Nazis were disgusted by what the Japanese were doing during WW2

    19. ReichBallFromAmerica on

      Well, I am Catholic, so after the language barrier issue is solved, it would all work out with the Spanish.

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