Dude won’t give you a bad advice

    by rosalineajoyful

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    1. “And by that I mean, try and eradicate as many Germans as you can before my armies all die of the plague or I run out of money, so I can finally defy the limits set by Augustus and expand Rome’s borders beyond the Danube and Rhine, glorifying my name for all eternity. But, y’know. In a really super stoic way. Are you listening Commodus? About how important it is to be stoic while we slaughter and rape these villagers and enslave their children? No, stop smiling, we need to be sort of self-pityingly yet self-congratulatingly miserable about making ourselves do it or we’re hardly stoics at all!”

      “You know Commodus. Sometimes I think you’re not even listening to how important it is to be stoic when trampling your enemies underfoot and teaching their women what true mastery looks like. I swear, what is the point of sending a teenage boy on campaigns of slaughter against those who defy Rome by insisting on living in their own land, if he’s not even going to try to be stoic about it?”

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